This is based on an old favorite, snazzed up for the occasion, but it should work—particularly if you haven’t heard it…
Bat-o-lantern. Don’t forget to shine your light!
Last year, a young lad who ought to have spent Halloween night studying for the next day’s Chemistry class decided instead to venture out onto the streets and mingle with neighborhood revelers. He would regret that decision.
From the trunk of his Toyota Echo he pulled an enormous blue and white Lugia costume head piece that he’d worn at a recent Anime conference. Its red eyes glowered menacingly. “Perfect,” he thought. He stared ruefully at the rest of the costume, recalling the fumbling clunky-ness of the oversized wing/hands. He settled for the giant blue talon feet and a full-length overcoat
Nobody around here knows who Lugia is anyway.
The lad wasn’t interested in candy, but in terrifying unsuspecting trick-or-treaters, particularly the younger children. He’d pick a tiny tot to stand behind and slowly lean over him, lowering his large red-eyed Lugia head practically up-side down and eye-to-eye with the poor child and saying, “Sqwaaak.”
If a bag of goodies happened to drop in the ensuing mayhem, all the better.
He was having a rather good time until someone’s dad, who happened to be dressed as a cowboy, came out of the shadows and chased him with a cattle prod. Chased him half-way down the road, until the lad ducked into a side street, avoiding the prod but slamming smack-dab into a giant, wood coffin.
“Ow!” He stepped back, eyeing the casket with suspicion.
What’s that doing here?
He shrugged and started to leave, but as soon as he turned, the coffin lid began to open, slowly…creakingly…eerily… He just had to peek inside. Wouldn’t you?
Two dark, slanted, evil looking eyes glowed out at him, and a bony finger beckoned. He took a step back.
The coffin moved.
The lad turned and raced out of the alley as fast as one can run in giant bird feet. Behind him, he heard a menacing thumping. He chanced a look back and was filled with terror to see the coffin thudding along the sidewalk, steadily gaining on him. He ripped off his head piece and flung it aside, and kicked off the footwear as he ran.
The coffin sped up behind him.
“Thump! Thump! Thump!”
When he reached his house he used his last ounce of energy to charge up the walkway and fling open the door, pulling it shut behind him and closing the bolt.
“Thump! Thump! Thump!”
Through the peephole he saw the coffin coming up his front steps. He turned and ran upstairs just as the front door crashed in, and to his horror, the casket started up the steps.
“Thump! Thump! Thump!”
The lad raced into the bathroom at the end of the hall and closed the door. Trapped! There wasn’t even a window.
Exhausted and near tears, he was ready to give up, when he spied the open medicine cabinet and knew exactly what he had to do. He crossed the room and rummaged hastily through the pill bottles and bandages, coming up at last with a bottle of Vicks-44.
He took a quick breath to steady his nerves, opened the bottle, then yanked the door open and flung the syrupy contents at the approaching menace, soaking it from top to bottom.
And the coffin’ stopped…
You’re welcome. Stay safe out there tonight.
Boo.
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“You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness.” —1 Thessalonians:5
You’re welcome. Stay safe out there tonight.
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You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. –1 Thessalonians 5
The Portrait Writer 
Very good, you had me waiting for a scary ending. Lol!
This is seriously the funniest thing ever.
>
Hysterical! I couldn’t stop laughing!
Then my work is done here. 🙂
Bahahaha! Totally did NOT expect that! Loved this!
Thanks, Heidi.